If you have never sat across from a counselor before, the not knowing is often the hardest part. Here is the honest answer: it is not going to be as scary as you are anticipating. We do not bite!
Still, "just relax" is not much help when you do not know what is coming. So here is a real walkthrough of what a first session at Transformed Therapy actually looks like.
Before we talk about anything else, we talk about confidentiality. What you share in that room stays in that room. The only exception is if something you share points to an imminent risk of harm to yourself or someone else. Knowing that boundary up front tends to let people exhale for the first time since they walked in.
Once you're settled, we start simple. How are you feeling about being here? Sometimes that question alone lets someone say, "Honestly, I'm nervous," and just naming it brings relief. Other times I will offer a few words myself, nervous, excited, scared, because chances are you are already feeling one of them, and hearing it named for you takes some of the weight off having to explain it yourself.
From there, I will ask you to picture the next few months. What are you hoping is different by then? You do not need the details worked out yet. This is less about diagnosing a problem and more about helping you land on what you actually want out of this process.
A lot of people carry an idea of therapy from television, the therapist stroking a beard, asking "how does that make you feel," while you do all the talking. That is one real style, often called person-centered.
But many people walking through our doors have already tried everything else. They are not looking for a place to vent, they are looking for direction, tools, and something they can actually put into practice that week. That is a more solution-focused approach, and it is what many people are genuinely after.
Most sessions end up somewhere in between, but naming the difference upfront helps you know what to expect from me.
Once we have that framework, you will usually get into it naturally, and it rarely feels forced. I will ask how long you have been thinking about coming in, and often how you found Transformed Therapy in the first place. From there, most people are ready to share the broad strokes of what has been bothering them, without needing to unload every detail in session one.
From the broad picture, we narrow in. How is this showing up in your day to day? Your sleep, your work, your relationships? This is where we start connecting what you are carrying to how it is actually playing out in your life.
This is usually where I will ask you to take me into your head. What negative or self-defeating thoughts have been on repeat? This gives us a picture of your internal landscape, the automatic negative thoughts running in the background.
My approach here is not traditional cognitive behavioral therapy. I work from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy through a Christian lens, which shapes everything that follows.
Next, I will ask how you have been getting through it so far. What is your go-to when things get hard, what helps you resist a temptation or push through a hard moment? Some people have a toolbox already. Others are honest that they feel like they have nothing left. Either answer is a useful starting point.
We close by talking about my approach, blending Acceptance and Commitment Therapy with biblical insight. Here is something worth knowing before you ever walk in: most people come to counseling hoping to get rid of their negative thoughts entirely, to stop feeling the hard feelings for good. That is not actually the goal.
The goal is not learning to fight your thoughts harder. It is learning to notice them, name them, and move forward without letting them pull you under.
That is the whole approach in a sentence, and it is one you will hear from me often.
Notice it. Name it. Transform it.